Leadership Development

What Universe Do You Bear?

Henry Adams, grandson and great-grandson of presidents on one side, descendent of wealthy Bostonians on the other, asserts that "every one must bear his own universe, and most persons are moderately interested in learning how their neighbors have managed to carry theirs."

The two parts of this quotation strike me as important for Christian maturity. "Every one must bear his own universe" gets at the heart of personal responsibility. We have each been born into families we did not choose, endowed with gifts we may or may not develop, provided the opportunity for education afforded by our situation, and held back by handicaps—mental, physical or emotional-thrust upon us from outside. But Adams says we must each bear the burden of our own universe of circumstances as best we can.

I ponder: How well am I bearing my universe? What have I done with the advantages I have been given? How many disadvantages am I hiding behind, blaming them for keeping me back rather than shouldering them and moving ahead?

Adams also says that some of us enjoy learning how others have managed to carry their burdens. Although some people's interest in others' burdens is useful only for gossip or self-comparison, this statement gets at something deeper in human nature. It refers to the centrality and necessity of stories. When I read history, literature and Scripture, I am reading about how other people have borne the burden of their universe. I learn how they rise above obstacles, falter under pressure, gain strength in community or disintegrate into madness. And from them, I grow.

Accepting my own universe and observing other people laboring in theirs, however, may limit life to either self-absorption or voyeurism. I can spend my days observing my visceral reactions, my emotional responses, my mental gymnastics and consequently fail to give of myself to others. Conversely, I can ignore myself (some things are just too hard to face), but spend my time watching others from a distance, criticizing, analyzing or even laughing at their struggles, frustrations or foibles.

Or I can make a conscious effort to build the body of Christ from what I learn while bearing my own universe and reading about or watching others bear theirs.

Many times our tendency is to judge another based on our own standards rather than asking how the burden of that person's universe may have influenced her choices or behaviors.

I remember a friend in junior high who often behaved in attention-getting ways that my parents would not allow. In my heart, I was critical of her, until one day I overheard her endure a demeaning tongue-lashing from her mother. I was transformed for a brief moment into her place. I wondered if her mother had been mine whether I would have turned out even half as well as she had. I realized that my judgment of her had been based on the universe I had been given, not on the one she had to bear. When the acrid atmosphere of her daily environment broke over me, I had a more accurate picture of the reality in which she lived. In short, I felt compassion toward her.

Similarly, when we are affronted by the words or actions of another, we may find that those transgressions can be at least partially explained by examining that person's universe. Before we take offense, we should step outside our universe and into hers to consider the burdens the offender may bear. I was once deeply hurt by a colleague whose educational and spiritual stature suggested she could have behaved far better. When I later realized that early scars in her life meant she had started much further back on the road to personal and spiritual maturity than most people with her educational and spiritual training, I was able to forgive her.

We should accept the burden of our own universe. We can gain compassion by watching how others have borne theirs. We can consider the limits of other people's universes before judging them or taking offense. But Galatians 6:2 says we should also reach out to others and help them bear their burdens until they are able to bear them on their own. It admonishes, "Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ" (King James Version).

I challenge you to ask yourself first, what universe do you bear? What limitations have you accepted too readily or never accepted at all? Then I suggest you take time to observe how others have borne their universe. Read Scripture. Read biographies of great men and women of God. Read good literature in which great minds have fictionalized for us human choices and the consequences of bearing those choices responsibly or irresponsibly. And finally, before you judge your neighbor or take offense, ask yourself, What universe does she bear? What can I do to ease the pain, stress or confusion of that universe and, by doing so, in my small way, fulfill the law of Christ?